You are enough…seriously, read that as many times as necessary until it sinks in. Read it and repeat it as many times as it takes to just read those words, accept and believe them. Those words, although true, are so hard to read without getting the voices all riled up. You know which voices, the ones inside your head that although aren’t audible they are louder and make more impact than actual spoken words. The voices that will immediately start mocking you with phrases like:
“Please, maybe YOU (referring to whoever wrote the words) are enough, but not me…”
“I might be, once I lose the weight, get the job, boyfriend, followers, etc…”
“Sounds nice, but cmon…”
If you are anything like me, those phrases are NICE compared to what really goes on inside your head. But I am here to tell you, that is is true! You are enough and worthy exactly as you are in this moment in time. There is nothing wrong with wanting to evolve in certain areas of your life (i.e get in better physical shape, get a better job, grow your following, etc), the problem is when our self worth is tied to those areas. How many times have you caught yourself putting your happiness or self-worth on hold to the infamous “when’s and if’s” &” then’s,” what are those you ask? Do phrases like this come to mind?
“When I _________, Then I’ll be happy”
“If I __________, Then I’ll be worthy”
Phrases like those are so common that I don’t think we realize their true danger. They are dangerous because whatever fills in the blank is usually something external such as finding a boyfriend, making more money, having a nicer car, etc…and things like that usually give us a temporary boost in happiness, but it’s rarely permanent. Let me be more specific, how many times have you just obsessed over something, lets just go with something mainstream such as weight loss ok? Just humor me for a second…You obsess with it to the point that you really think getting into those smaller jeans TRULY will make you happy, so you clean up your diet & hit the gym, you lose the weight and you feel like a million bucks for a little bit then you start feeling like crap again. How many times has anything like this happened to you? I will step forward and say this has happened to me more times than I care to count.
True happiness and self worth comes from the inside out. You first accept and love yourself, now…then usually external things start changing as well, except at this point whether they do or not has no bearing on how we value ourselves. I believe we were created by a God who wanted us to be whole and happy to carry out the purpose for which we were created, and somewhere along the way we lose our way and brokenness sets in. I know what you might be asking yourselves right at this moment, because that’s what i’d be wondering…Ok, sure this is all true, but how do I go from point A (broken) to point B (whole)?
I don’t have the universal answer to that question, and I am sure it looks different for everyone. I am still on this journey of getting healed and becoming whole again but I will outline the things that have been of tremendous help in my journey and I pray they work for you as well:
- Meditate on those words (YOU ARE ENOUGH) every single day, I promise that the voices will get smaller and smaller. If you are up for it, repeat them over and over out loud.
- Count your blessings, literally, count them all and be thankful for them. Actually think about them until you feel the feeling of gratitude. Trust me, this one works.
- Forgive yourself and others if you need to (forgiveness is really a decision, the feeling follows later on).
- Do not speak negative things, I know this one is a tough one, but even if you can’t fight the thoughts yet at least don’t say the negative things out loud. It is a step in the right direction, trust me.
- Stop victimizing yourself. Really. Take control of your own happiness instead of outsourcing it to your husband, friends, boss, etc. Happiness and self worth come from your own perception, and nobody else can change that so stop looking at them, and focus on your own attitude towards the things you are most upset about, and actually think about whether you are being proactive at bettering them or just complaining.
- Help someone else, not talking about quitting your job and volunteering 24/7. Small things such as encouraging someone in your life end up being of more blessing to you than them sometimes.
- Set goals and smash them, tiny ones even such as pick one of the things above and stick with it for a week.
- Try and do the best with that you got, right now. This one is tough for me because there is just so much more i’d rather be doing with my life but this is where I am so I need to accept that and do the best I can with the card I was dealt. Complaining will just make me miserable anyway.
- This last one might be a bit weird to explain and understand but here it goes. Listen to your “gut,” “conscience,” whatever you like calling it. I will call it the holy spirit. Every time you feel prompted to do something, just do it and don’t let your mind get in the way. If you feel like smiling or complimenting someone random just do it, give your place in line at the store to the lady behind you or heck, buy their coffee. I get these often, random feelings to bless and give to someone and every time I act on them it is of tremendous blessing to me.
It is important to do something EVERY DAY to nourish your spirit. Just like going to the gym once a week won’t do much for your physical body, your soul/spirit is the same way.